Music/Punk Rock/Surfing/SUPing/Cycling and other stuff that interests me.

Chris Thomas

Articles 4.4K
Views 4.2M
Followers 76

Humor | Humor

Humor | Humor

Day in the Life of Ben Shapiro

- A Day in the Life of Ben Shapiro -new secret 2nd channel: https://youtu.be/DZU3T8MnAX4((( Join The Cercle:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcoDpbA4c9HQY0Aj...

Humor | Humor

Managers at Pediatric Blood Farm That Keeps Queen Alive Prepare for Layoffs

Upper-level managers at a clandestine facility specializing in removing blood from young children and pumping it into Queen Elizabeth II to keep her alive are now expecting layoffs following her death earlier today, sources who just put a down payment on

Humor | Humor

24 Things You Don't Know About Alex Jones | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

Subscribe to the Real Time YouTube: http://itsh.bo/10r5A1BBill shares a few fun "facts" about right-wing radio host and conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones. Conn...

Humor | Humor

I Didn’t Vaccinate My Kids and the One Who Lived Turned out Fine

If you want to hear the TRUTH that the vaccine industry doesn't want YOU to know, keep reading.

Humor | Humor

Hundreds of Nuclear Weapons Documents Found at Mar-a-Lago with Hillary Clinton's Name Hastily Scribbled on Them

The Federal Bureau of Investigation recovered stacks of highly-classified nuclear weapons documents with “Hillary Clinton” written in childlike scrawls on them from Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago residence, flabbergasted yet unsurprised agents reported.

Humor | Humor

FBI Agent Reveals Mar-a-Lago Safe Cracked With 0000 Combination

FBI Agent David Abramson revealed he was able to gain access to former President Donald Trump’s safe first try by using a 0000 combination during a raid of Mar-a-Lago this past Monday.

Humor | Humor

5 Fox News Personalities And How Each Of Them Fared In The 'Saw' Style Deathtrap We Tricked Them All Into

Can a person simply pull themselves up by their bootstraps or is American exceptionalism a lie? We decided to test this on some of the most exceptional Americans we could think of, Fox News hosts. And what better test than a labyrinth of moral terror ala

Humor | Humor

Conservative Boycotting Disney Now Will Only Visit Park 14 Times a Year

Staunch conservative Todd Anderson vowed to limit his annual Disney World trips to slightly more than a baker’s dozen because he is tired of supporting the major corporations' “woke politics.”

Humor | Humor

Opinion: You’re Not My Real Soccer Mommy!

No, I will not listen to you! You can’t tell me what to do. You tell me to take out the trash, wash the dishes, and mow the lawn. But I will never do that just because you said so. You’re not my real soccer mommy!

Humor | Humor

Republican Senator’s Mistress Too Busy Getting Abortion to Celebrate Big Win with Him

WASHINGTON – The much-younger girlfriend of a prominent Republican Senator is disappointed that she will be too busy having an abortion today to join the…

Humor | Humor

Opinion: I’m Only Eating This Baby to Gain the Mental and Physical Prowess I Need To Hunt Baby Eaters in the Deep State

Ever since Q provided all free-thinking patriots with irrefutable proof that our country is controlled by a shadow governing cabal of baby eating devil worshipers who themselves are in the pocket of shape-shifting lizard aliens, I’ve dedicated a lot of

Humor | Humor

God Has a Plan: When This Christian Rock Drummer Died in a Car Accident His Band Got a New Drummer and He Is Much More Talented

It’s no secret that our lord works in mysterious ways. He allows bad things to happen to good people, he buries dinosaur fossils to test our faith, and he allowed the democrats to steal our election for who knows what reason.

Humor | Humor

Top Five Southern Rock Songs To Listen to While You Complain About Participation Trophies

I remember when this country had a pair! When I was growing up we didn’t have all the crybabies doing the tweets or the instgram. We had people who knew their worth and fell in a line. And mostly we didn’t have any participation trophies!

Humor | Humor

Cat Rescues Scared Cop Stuck Hiding On Tall Tree Branch

A local cat known as Pudding saved an officer of the Chicago Police Department that ran up a very tall tree and got stuck after being spooked by a scary bug that caught him off guard.

Humor | Humor

Guitarist Just Getting Out Of Long-Term Band Not Looking For Anything Serious Right Now

Heartbroken guitarist Wayne Kellington just got out of his long-term punk band Cranial Input and is admittedly not looking for anything too serious right now.

Humor | Humor

Conservative Podcaster Unsure If Toddler Who Shot Pregnant Mother Is An Abortionist or Second Amendment Hero

Right-wing podcaster Skyler Donelli admitted he is having difficulty choosing a side in the debate over whether a toddler accidentally shooting its mother is an evil act of abortion or virtuous example of using one’s second amendment rights.

Humor | Humor

Roe v. Wade Cold Open - SNL

After Justice Samuel Alito's leaked draft opinion to overturn Roe v. Wade, a flashback to 13th century England shows the exact moment three men (Benedict Cum...

Humor | Humor

Democrats Vow Women Jailed For Abortion Will Get $50 Tax Credit

Democratic Party leaders issued a scathing statement earlier today in response to a leaked draft Supreme Court Decision overturning Roe v. Wade

Humor | Humor

Parodying conspiracy theories with the Birds Aren't Real movement

Sharyn Alfonsi meets the founder of Birds Aren't Real, the conspiracy theory parodying conspiracy theories.

Humor | Humor

Future 'Founder' of Twitter Elon Musk Buys Twitter

SAN FRANCISCO — Richest man in the world, Elon Musk, acquired Twitter earlier today and will immediately begin rewriting the company’s history to show he…

Humor | Humor

Desperate Catholic Church Willing to Accept Dream Theater Fandom in Place of Vow of Celibacy

The Catholic Church announced a new effort in which it will attempt to grow its ever-dwindling priest population by accepting a public display of fandom to prog-metal titans Dream Theater fandom in place of its usual vow of celibacy for new priests.

Humor | Humor

Man Goes to Astounding Lengths to Find Family History of Parkinson's Rather Than Admitting He Going Through Alcohol Withdrawal

Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due to a family history of Parkinson's as opposed to a case of DTs.

Humor | Humor

Seat Fillers - SNL

An Oscars seat filler (Jerrod Carmichael) gets interrupted while talking to Will Smith (Chris Redd).Saturday Night Live. Stream now on Peacock: https://pck.t...

Humor | Humor

Neighborhood Drug Front Actually Best Place to Get Sandwiches

Neighborhood staple Al’s Market won an online poll for “Best Local Sandwich Spot,” despite strong evidence of it being a front for drug trafficking.

Humor | Humor

You Know What Energy Source Hasn’t Skyrocketed in Price Due to Russia? Steam! Op-ed by Reginald Vondurchdenwald

By Jove! It appears that, once again, the cost of petroleum has gone through the roof! If only society had heeded my words once again and switched to a less costly, more efficient mode of transportation.

Humor | Humor

Rising Gas Prices Prevent Struggling Americans From Burning Crime Scene Evidence

CHICAGO—With markets roiled by war in Ukraine and a U.S. boycott of Russian oil imports, leading economists confirmed Friday that rising gas prices have prevented struggling Americans from obtaining the fuel they normally use as an accelerant when setti

Humor | Humor

Dad Sure to Let You Know Race of Every Person in Story He’s Telling

Local dad Richard Miller is reportedly about to start another boring story in which he’ll be sure to note the race of any person of color involved.

Humor | Humor

What the Deaths of Countless Ukrainian Civilians Means for You at the Pump

Well, Russia invaded Ukraine so you know what that means. The carnage, the screaming, the mothers holding their children for dear life, and of course, rapidly changing gas prices. The only thing more volatile than the gas prices is that region! But seriou

Humor | Humor

Entitled Karens Getting Put In Their Place - REACTION

Entitled Karens Getting Put In Their Place - REACTIONSUBSCRIBE! https://bit.ly/2DxtJhMINSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/charlaychaplinTWITTER: https://twi...

Humor | Humor

'SNL': Joe Biden blames omicron, inflation and everything else on ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’

Joe Biden, played by James Austin Johnson on "SNL," knows who's really to blame for COVID's omicron surge, inflation and more issues facing Americans.

Humor | Humor

Police Officer’s Wife Still Dreads Getting Phone Call That Her Husband Has Been Vaccinated

NEW YORK—Admitting that she experiences a small jolt of terror even after all these months, wife of NYPD officer Mark Cady, told reporters Tuesday that she still dreads someday getting a phone call that her husband has been vaccinated. “Obviously, Mar

Humor | Humor

New Beatles Doc Gives Man Greater Appreciation For How Long 8 Hours Feels

TULSA, OK—Saying the miniseries provided fresh insight into the subject matter, local man Barry Liptak, 43, told reporters Monday that Peter Jackson’s Get Back documentary gave him a much greater appreciation for how long eight hours feels. “Obvious

Humor | Humor

We Shouldn’t Have To Express Appreciation at Thanksgiving When It’s So Much Easier To Fake It at Christmas

Each year, one holiday brings everybody back to their hometown as families gather to eat, drink, and hide their resentment towards one another through phony platitudes of positivity, or as they call it, "giving thanks." This Hallmark-adjacent holiday is c

Humor | Humor

Engagement Announcement Overshadowed by More Popular Couple Adopting Dog

Newly engaged couple Daryl Stein and Hannah West are absolutely livid that their celebratory post got significantly less likes than their friend’s post announcing they rescued a dog.

Humor | Humor

Jeanine Pirro Cold Open - SNL

Jeanine Pirro (Cecily Strong) discusses the Kyle Rittenhouse verdict and welcomes Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) to discuss Biden’s Build Back Better in...

Humor | Humor

Judge Tells Rittenhouse He Hopes They Can Do This Again Sometime

Judge Bruce Schroeder told acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse he hopes they can "hang out again really soon" immediately following the not guilty verdict.

Humor | Humor

Weekend Update: Sarah Sherman Roasts Colin Jost - SNL

Sarah Sherman stops by Weekend Update to discuss her first six episodes of SNL and roasts Colin Jost.Saturday Night Live. Stream now on Peacock: https://pck....

Humor | Humor

Ted Cruz Sesame Street Cold Open - SNL

Senator Ted Cruz (Aidy Bryant) introduces his new show Cruz Street and its residents (Cecily Strong, Kyle Mooney, Pete Davidson, Alex Moffat, Mikey Day, Chri...

Humor | Humor

Facebook User Posits Vaccine that Killed Colin Powell Also Gave Him Cancer, Made Him 84

Isaac Fischer took to Facebook this morning to posit that the COVID vaccine that killed Colin Powell had also likely given Powell cancer and made him 84 years of age.

Humor | Humor

Jordan Klepper vs. Iowans Who Think Trump Won | The Daily Show

Who was behind the Capitol insurrection? Will Trump run in 2024? Has he actually been president this whole year? Jordan Klepper heads to his first Trump rall...

Humor | Humor

Stephen Colbert Presents: The Best Moments From 25 Years Of Fox News

Our host has been a critic of Fox News for decades, so he's uniquely qualified to present this celebration of the conservative news channel's finest on-air m...

Humor | Humor

Bruce Springsteen Admits He Made Up the “American Working Class” During a Creative Dry Spell

Legendary musician Bruce Springsteen recently admitted that he made up the “American working class” during a creative dry spell.

Humor | Humor

Nurse Carefully Weighs Whether She Better Off Getting Vaccine Or Losing Job And Dying

UTICA, NY—Blasting state officials for putting her into such an “impossible position,” local nurse Sophia Wood confirmed Wednesday that she was carefully weighing whether she was better off getting the vaccine or losing her job and dying. “On the

Humor | Humor

We Sat Down With the Last Guy Who Still Calls People “Hipsters”

The early 2010s were a much simpler time. People didn’t eat and breathe divisive politics, guitars could be found in mainstream music, and “Jersey Shore”…

Humor | Humor

News on the Dow Jones Would Terrify Man if He Knew What It Meant

Local man Connor Goodman checked the stock market today and was too confused by what he read to feel any sense of rightful anxiety or dread.

Humor | Humor

Opinion: Let Me Tell You About Another White Guy Who Was “Out of Touch, Ignorant and Misinformed.” His Name was Jesus Christ

I’m getting pretty sick and tired of all this guff I’ve been getting in the facebook conversations I insert myself into. It’s getting to the point where a man can’t point out the fact that Republican president Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves (and

Humor | Humor

Punk Mom Keeps Asking Daughter When She’s Going to Get Divorced

A punk mom is putting pressure on her happily married 36-year-old daughter to get divorced before it’s too late.

Humor | Humor

Trump to Honor the Brave Men and Women Who Fought During the Upcoming Holyfield/Belfort 9/11 Fight

Former president Donald Trump will commemorate the brave men and women who fought during the 9/11 boxing match between Evander Holyfield and Vitor Belfort.

Humor | Humor

Yet Again I’m the Only Cool Guy at This AA Meeting

This is getting ridiculous. When I attended my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I thought it would be a cool bunch of people swapping stories about drunk driving and stealing from your loved ones. Just a whole bunch of McNulty's talking rock botto

Humor | Humor

We Sat Down With Body Modification Legend Jesus Christ

Body mods have come a long way. Once a social oddity, it is now common to see piercings and tattoos on people in many walks of life. While we in the punk rock world have grown accustomed to these sights, it took many sacrifices by the people with their to

Humor | Humor

Anti-Vaxxers Bring The Crazy At Public Meetings In California

The backlash against vaccine mandates was loud, proud, and downright troubling at the latest meeting of the San Diego Board of Supervisors. #Colbert #Comedy ...

Humor | Humor

God Works in Mysterious Ways That Somehow Always Reinforce What I Want To Believe

God works in mysterious ways. That's why I don’t question God’s plan for me. I merely pick and choose from the parts of it that justify my incredibly narrow view of the world. That said, I will totally question God's plan for anyone who is e

Humor | Humor

New Rule: The Tragedy of Trump Voters | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

Subscribe to the Real Time YouTube: http://itsh.bo/10r5A1BBill calls on Democrats not to write off all Trump voters as deplorable and asks Republicans to con...

Humor | Humor

New Rule: The Big Liars | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

Subscribe to the Real Time YouTube: http://itsh.bo/10r5A1BUnremarkable people can get a remarkable life in Congress – and that’s what keeps the average Repub...

Humor | Humor

White vs Mexicans BBQ | MrChuy FT The Crazy Gorilla

I, MrChuy, finally did a collab with the one and only The Crazy Gorilla! You guys all wanted it, and here it is! White Vs Mexican BBQs!! PART 2 IS NOW LIVE! ...

Humor | Humor

Scandal-Free Canadian Musician Releases Public Apology Just Because

Canadian pop punk musician and overall good dude Jeremiah Dean released a public apology yesterday despite not being accused of any unacceptable behavior whatsoever.

Humor | Humor

School Of Hard Knocks Graduates Yet Another Class Of Racist Uncles

Legendary ass-kicking institution, The School Of Hard Knocks, celebrated yet another graduating class of macho, non-PC, bootstrap puller-uppers this past weekend.

Humor | Humor

Study Confirms Best Way to Find Work Is to Remind Interviewer Your Father Was Deceased Senator John McCain

A new study confirmed the best way to secure work is to remind the person interviewing you that your father is deceased US Senator and war hero John McCain.

Humor | Humor

Opinion: I Only Abuse Alcohol Recreationally

I’d like to apologize to every single person who attended my surprise intervention. Had I known it was happening I would’ve brought a 30-pack and some ping pong balls and we would have had a blast. I apologize if my actions hurt you. But the good news

Humor | Humor

Nextdoor App Crashes as Neighbors Snitch on Their Own HOA BBQ Violations

Neighborhood watch app Nextdoor crashed early this afternoon after users self-snitched on their own Fourth of July barbeque celebrations out of habit, according to sources.

Humor | Humor

Mom Wondering if You’ll Be Home for Fourth of July Barbecue or if You’ll Be Too Busy With Your Critical Race Theory

Your Mom is wondering if you'll be home for her annual 4th of July barbecue, or if you'll be too busy with this critical race theory she keeps hearing about.

Humor | Humor

God Kills Rumsfeld as Apology for Whole Cosby Thing

God ended the life of former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today as a formal apology for the whole “letting Bill Cosby get away with raping dozens of women” thing.

Humor | Humor

Cop on “Jeopardy!” Shoots at Daily Double Laser Sound

Popular game show “Jeopardy!” ceased filming mid-episode last week when contestant and off-duty police officer Jamie Boyd shot up the studio after being startled by the Daily Double laser sound effect.

Humor | Humor

How Am I Supposed To Keep a Plant Alive If I Can’t Even Keep a Kid Alive?

As an elder millennial, I experience a lot of pressure to assume more responsibility that I may necessarily be ready for. Unfortunately, buying a house is out of reach with my minuscule income from testing VR porn video technology. But I had the idea of d

Humor | Humor

Police Academy Graduation Reminds Students It’s Been a Long Hard Six Weeks

Cadets of the Chicago Police Academy were reminded of the exhausting six weeks of training they endured in order to become full-fledged police officers.

Humor | Humor

National Spelling Bee Slowly but Surely Running Out of Words

Organizers of the National Spelling Bee expressed concerns this week after learning that the highly-regarded competition is in serious danger of running out of words eventually.

Humor | Humor

Opinion: Take It From Me, a Fictional Strawman Invented to Score Political Points: It’s Time to Get Back to Work

Listen, everyone. We all know this last year of Covid-19 quarantine has been tough on everyone, and those extra hundos in unemployment have been helpful, but take it from, a fictional strawman invented to score political points: it’s time for us to get

Humor | Humor

Homemade Pipe Man’s First Apple in Decade

Local stoner Lukas James accidentally tasted his first apple in over ten years last week after using it to construct a homemade smoking device.

Humor | Humor

Incredible: This Guy With a Goatee Never Heard of Disturbed

Normally with goatee guys, certain behaviors are expected: drive past a school yard too many times, stalk your ex-wife, drink Coors light and listen to Disturbed in your car on lunch breaks. These are all hurtful stereotypes of course, but they have been

Humor | Humor

Nu-Metal Fan Whose JNCOs Inflated Like Parachute Only Survivor in Plane Crash

Nu-metal fan and dedicated JNCO jeans wearer Chad Willis was the only surviving passenger of a plane crash after his comically oversized pants served as a de facto parachute.

Humor | Humor

Dave Grohl Reveals He’s Been Chewing the Same Piece of Gum for 26 Years

Foo Fighters frontman and former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl admitted that he has been chewing the same piece of Trident spearmint flavored gum for the past 26 years.

Humor | Humor

Opinion: How Much For ALL My Plasma?

It’s one of those few things that everyone in the country can easily depend on to make a quick $30 bucks. Whether its medical bills or the explosive need for a fresh new pack of cigarettes, Plasma - the portion of the blood that is used to fight disease

Humor | Humor

How Roger Rabbit Set the Unrealistic Expectation I’d Score Bodacious Babes During My Bow Tie Phase

Roger Rabbit made me unrealistically believe that his bona fide swag is what made him a drop-dead daddy to all the ladies.

Humor | Humor

'Blue Lives Matter' Supporter Having No Problem Laying into Mall Security

Mall security guard Corey Knightly was in shock after a ‘Blue Lives Matter’ proponent tore into him for twenty minutes over matters regarding running around corners too fast.

Humor | Humor

3 Things I Don’t Understand About the Israel-Palestine Conflict, Plus 5 More I Don’t Understand About Basic Life

I’ve never claimed to be a particularly smart man, but I do try to keep well-informed. The world is a complex place. Truth, lies, right and wrong are rarely clear-cut. With that in mind, here’s three things I don’t understand about the Israel-Palest

Humor | Humor

Acoustic Performer at Vaccination Site Considered Worse than Outbreak

Acoustic guitarist Harry “Wild Child” Kearns caused a mass evacuation from a local vaccine site with his terrible acoustic renditions of pop hits from the early aughts.

Humor | Humor

That Guy From 127 Hours Cuts His Arm off and He's a Hero, I Cut My Arm off To Collect Insurance Money and I'm a "Fraud"

I can’t help but laugh at how hypocritical this country is. Everywhere I turn I see people saluting Aron Ralston as a hero just because a rock fell on his arm when he was hiking alone and he cut it off to save his own life, yet here I am fighting with m

Humor | Humor

Billy Corgan Wakes Up, Makes Coffee, Settles In for Another Day of Writing 5-Star Smashing Pumpkins Album Reviews on Amazon

Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan made some coffee before launching into yet another day of writing 5-star reviews of his own works on Amazon.com.

Humor | Humor

28-Year-Old Just Getting Into Skateboarding Highly Overestimating Its Sex Appeal

Local failure Max Kugler was reportedly sighted practicing his ollies at the Haledon Skate Park on Saturday night in a last-ditch effort to attract women.

Humor | Humor

Man Waits Until Haircut Finished to Interrupt Barber’s Right-Wing Rant

A local man waited until his haircut was safely completed Thursday evening before attempting to stop to his barber’s hateful political tirade.

Humor | Humor

Tense Introduction Between FBI and Local Police Calmed by Racist Joke

FBI Agent Dan Trolley defused a tense standoff with local police over the jurisdiction of a crime scene with a well-timed racist joke passed down to him from his law enforcement mentor

Humor | Humor

New “Fox and Friends” Reboot to be Shot Entirely from Front Seat of Ford F-150

Producers of “Fox & Friends” will move the popular news show from its regular shooting location in Rockefeller Center to the front seat of a Ford F-150 pickup truck.

Humor | Humor

Monty Python Royal Society For Putting Things On Top of Other Things

When I put this clip on top of YouTube in 2013, I never expected it to get so many views. Thanks to everyone who's enjoyed watching this here and liked the ...

Humor | Humor

Jazz Drummer Holds Fork Like That Too

Clint Frenzy, the legendary jazz drummer known for his innovative yet traditional style, reportedly holds his fork the same “kind of weird” way he holds his drumsticks.

Humor | Humor

Will One of You Liiberals Show Me How to Work a Podcast?

I don’t buy into all that PC crap, no one’s gonna tell me what I can and can’t do! Anyway, will one of you libtards help me get the O'Reilly show podcast?

Humor | Humor

What Joining a Hate Group While Cheating on My Husband and Abusing Pills Taught Me About Writing Clickbait

At the beginning of this year my once stable life took a drastic left turn. One moment, I had it all. Then, I started having anonymous sex with married men. This led to an opioid addiction and also I joined a white pride group just to boot.

Humor | Humor

Boomers Got the Vax - SNL

A group of boomers (Maya Rudolph, Kenan Thompson, Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant, Mikey Day, Chris Redd, Ego Nwodim, Melissa Villaseñor, Kyle Mooney) sing about ...

Humor | Humor

We Sat Down With Ted Nugent Because He Thought We Were 15

So we were just sitting outside Cafe du Stefan in Jackson, Michigan waiting for our Americanos when a man who looked like he held Civil War reenactments in a honky-tonk bar grabbed a chair from the next table and sat at ours. While we would come to discov

Humor | Humor

Small Town Scene Officially Out of People to Have Relationships With

A small punk community in central New York officially ran out of new scene members to fuck late yesterday evening.

Humor | Humor

Cool! This Cute Little Kid Likes Stuff From the ‘80s Because His Dad Makes Him

Aww! This adorable little boy loves retro ‘80s stuff because he’s a walking monument to his dad’s crippling nostalgia!

Humor | Humor

6 Amazing Taco Bell Hacks From My Dad’s Video Will

Fast food is all about reliability, but sometimes you crave something new and exciting. That’s why we’re sharing six mind-blowing hacks you can use to spice up your Taco Bell order, straight from my dad’s video will!

Humor | Humor

Woman Calls Cops On Person for Not Having Home to Display Liberal Lawn Sign

Self-proclaimed activist Jane Lipton is in hot water after calling the cops on an unhoused neighbor for their inability to display an “In This House, We Believe” yard sign.

Humor | Humor

Rush Limbaugh Emerges from Pet Sematary Unchanged

Rush Limbaugh defied all odds by emerging from the notoriously possessed Pet Sematary unchanged.

Humor | Humor

How To Do Yoga in a Way That Worships Satan

One of the most sacred rituals a person can perform for themselves is the practice of yoga. A yogi is at one with their mind, body, and spirit. But did you know that when practicing yoga, you can also worship the Fallen Light-Bearer himself, Satan?

Humor | Humor

Ben Shapiro Criticizes Georgia O'Keeffe Paintings for Not Looking Like Anything

Political commentator Ben Shapiro admitted today that he doesn’t like the paintings of renowned artist Georgia O’Keeffe because her works “look like absolutely nothing.”

Humor | Humor

French Film Somehow Makes Even Less Sense With Subtitles

The French film “La Joie des Moineaux,” incomprehensible in its native language, is even more confusing for foreign viewers when watched with English subtitles.

Humor | Humor

24-year-old to Be Tried As a Child

Local 24-year-old adult person Travis Parkes will be prosecuted in juvenile court after a judge’s ruling of, “I mean, look at this kid.”

Humor | Humor

Man Retires From Proud Boys after Single Hug From Father

Greg Pough retired as an active member of the Proud Boys today following a three-second embrace with his father that ended with a pat on the back.

Humor | Humor

Weekend Update: Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene on Science - SNL

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Cecily Strong) stops by Weekend Update to discuss why she hung a transphobic sign outside of her office.Saturday Night Live. Str...

Humor | Humor

Weekend Update: House Passes Biden’s Stimulus Bill - SNL

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like the House passing Biden's $1.9 trillion COVID-19 stimulus bill.Saturda...

Humor | Humor

Vaccine Game Show Cold Open - SNL

Dr. Anthony Fauci (Kate McKinnon) hosts a game show to help simplify the COVID-19 vaccine rollout.Saturday Night Live. Stream now on Peacock: https://bit.ly/...

Humor | Humor

Conservatives Demand Mr. Potato Head Retain His Giant, Veiny Potato Dick

Conservatives outraged by Hasbro’s announcement that Mr. Potato Head would become gender-neutral immediately created petitions to ensure the company would not alter the toy’s giant, veiny potato dick.

Humor | Humor

Britney Spears Cold Open - SNL

A talk show hosted by Britney Spears (Chloe Fineman) features guests Ted Cruz (Aidy Bryant), Governor Andrew Cuomo (Pete Davidson) and Gina Carano (Cecily St...

Humor | Humor

Weekend Update: Ted Cruz Goes to Cancun - SNL

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s plans to legalize marijuana.Saturday ...

Humor | Humor

Funniest Ben Shapiro Parody TikToks

Funniest Ben Shapiro Parody TikToksSUBSCRIBE NOW! https://bit.ly/2TOHT1Vmusical.ly,funny tiktok videis,tiktok compilations,tiktok 2020,ironic tiktok,tiktok m...

Humor | Humor

Ted Cruz Heroically Investigates Whether Mexico Stole Heat and Sun from Texas

The senator said that he undertook the mission because he cares deeply about the current suffering of his fellow-Texans.

Humor | Humor

Trump’s Rush Limbaugh Tribute, Biden’s Vaccine Promise & Texas Blackout Blame Game

Due to the pandemic some Catholic churches were offering drive thru and distanced experiences for the first day of Lent, Apple made a surprise announcement a...

Humor | Humor

Conservative Pundits Fly False Flags at Half Mast in Honor of Rush Limbaugh

Conservative talking heads across the country mourned the loss of Rush Limbaugh by reducing how many times they mentioned false flag operations on their respective shows.

Humor | Humor

Ted Cruz' new modified mullet | Boing Boing

Ted Cruz, US Senator from the not ashamed enough State of Texas. Cleans him us, but lets Ted keep his edge?

Humor | Humor

House Votes to Remove Marjorie Taylor Greene from Committees: A Closer Look

Seth takes a closer look at Republicans standing by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene as her committee assignments were stripped from her after making a series of ...

Humor | Humor

Paul McCartney Wishes People Would Ask Him A Question About Wings Every Once in Awhile

Paul McCartney allegedly wishes someone would occasionally ask him about his time playing and performing with Wings.

Humor | Humor

Jesus Helped Me Quit Alcohol and Now It’s Time for Me To Help Him Do the Same

When I was deep in the throes of my alcohol addiction it felt like there was no hope for me. It felt like the whole world rested on my chest and the only thing that could lift the weight was the contents of a bottle. That’s when I found a friend in Jesu

Humor | Humor

Buffalo Horns Riot Guy roasted by Native Americans

Buffalo Hat Guy aka Horned Hat Guy became the center of many memes this month. The Native American community roasted him again and again.Hi guys! I put a pol...

Humor | Humor

Trump spends final days just rubbing his dick on everything in White House

WASHINGTON D.C. – As the days wind down in the first and potentially only term held by President Trump, the Commander in Chief is reported to be spending his dwindling hours rubbing his penis over every possible surface in the White House.

Humor | Humor

After Second Impeachment, Trump Begins Moving Out of White House: A Closer Look

Seth takes a closer look at a twice-impeached Trump turning against some of his closest allies as his White House gets packed up.Late Night with Seth Meyers ...

Humor | Humor

Man Who Stormed Senate Already Back to Yelling at Skateboarders in Walmart Parking Lot

Ben Hartsock resumed his normal business of yelling at skateboarders for trespassing in a parking lot less than 24 hours after breaking into the Capitol Building.

Humor | Humor

Bruce Springsteen Shreds - Light Of Day

On January 7, 2000 at Madison Square Garden, Springsteen fans were treated to a once of a lifetime performance of the hit song "Light of Day". Always innovat...

Humor | Humor

Help! ICE Just Took Baby Jesus From Our Nativity Scene

This has to be some type of miscommunication. ICE just showed up at our front door. We allowed them in, of course, as we assumed…

Humor | Humor

In Blow To Biden Transition, Trump Reveals He Has Obtained The Darksaber

WASHINGTON, DC - In a shocking upset, President Trump brought Biden's transition to a screeching halt after revealing he has obtained the legendary Darksaber. According to lore, the Darksaber gives Trump all rights of kingship over America, which can only

Humor | Humor

Hallmark Christmas Romance Movies Set Unrealistic Expectations for Having Any Human Interaction Ever Again

Hallmark Channel’s signature Christmas-themed romance movies reportedly promote an unhealthy expectation of any kind of human interaction.

Humor | Humor

Ben Shapiro Pulls Pants Down to Ankles Before Peeing in Urinal

Alt-right conservative commentator Ben Shapiro pulled his pants all the way down around his ankles yesterday before using the urinal in a public restroom.

Humor | Humor

KAREN METAL

The 'I'm terrified' part was last video's winner. Here's her solo performance.Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3f6QSFuInstagram: http://instagram.com/andreantunesmu...

Humor | Humor

Betsy DeVos Warns That Biden Will Pick Education Secretary with Background in Education

“For the past four years, I have worked tirelessly to keep our schools free from education,” she said.

Humor | Humor

SNL's Weekend Update 12/12/20 | Saturday Night Live December 12, 2020

SNL's Weekend Update 12/12/20 | Saturday Night Live December 12, 2020#SNL#WeekendUpdate

Humor | Humor

Dr. Fauci & Dr. Birx Cold Open - SNL

Wolf Blitzer (Beck Bennett) interviews Dr. Fauci (Kate McKinnon) and Dr. Birx (Heidi Gardner) about the newly approved COVID-19 vaccine.Saturday Night Live. ...

Humor | Humor

Aerosmith Inducted Into Mediocre Unremarkable Middle-of-the-Road Bullshit Hall of Fame

After nearly five decades and 15 studio albums, Aerosmith will be inducted into the Mediocre Unremarkable Middle-of-the-Road Bullshit Hall of Fame.

Humor | Humor

Chipmunks Seeking New Frontman After Alvin Carried Off by Hawk

Popular musical act Alvin and the Chipmunks are seeking a new frontman following the death of their previous lead vocalist, Alvin.

    Humor | Humor

    If Drinking Nothing but PBR Isn’t a Cleanse, Then Why Is My Piss Clear?

    All too often, health gurus and ex-partners will tell you that guzzling an endless stream of low-quality lager is incompatible with healthy living. I’m here to tell you that this is a lie. It’s been a week since anything besides Pabst Blue Ribbon has

    Humor | Humor

    Biden Acceptance Speech Interrupted by Kanye Concession

    Joe Biden’s acceptance speech was interrupted by rapper turned presidential candidate Kanye West who rushed the stage to deliver his impassioned concession speech.

    Humor | Humor

    SNL's Weekend Update 12/05/20 | Saturday Night Live December 5, 2020

    #SNLSNL's Weekend Update 12/05/20 | Saturday Night Live December 5, 2020SNL's Weekend Update 12/05/20 | Saturday Night Live December 5, 2020SNL's Weekend Upd...

    Humor | Humor

    Michigan Hearings Cold Open - SNL

    Rudy Giuliani (Kate McKinnon) tries to make an argument to prove widespread voter fraud in the 2020 presidential election.Saturday Night Live. Stream now on...

    Humor | Humor

    Trump's faith advisor goes HEAVY METAL! [Sound of Victory] [Paula White Remix]

    Paula White's prayer service for Donald Trump's re-election. Remixed by Andre AntunesVersion without vocals: https://youtu.be/ECutPMriO2ADownload this track ...

    Humor | Humor

    Missing Thanksgiving - Aerosmith Parody

    This song is for all the Grandmas who usually host Thanksgiving. We're really going to miss your cornbread dressing, Grammy. Dang it Rona! Stay safe everyone...

    Humor | Humor

    First Thanksgiving - SNL

    Pocahontas’ (Melissa Villaseñor) boyfriend, John Smith (Beck Bennett), comes over for Thanksgiving dinner with her family (Will Ferrell, Maya Rudolph, Fred A...

    Humor | Humor

    Autocrats Watch Our President Cling To His Job, Beg For Cash, And Obstruct The Transition Of Power

    The current President is turning heads around the world by refusing to participate in the transition of power to his victorious opponent Joe Biden, who is pr...

    Humor | Humor

    Crazy A$$ Karen At The Polls Catches Beatdown After Confronting Black Woman

    Y'all know what time it is ... Roll it! Crazy a$$ Sheri McClatchy, A Mississippi election commissioner confronted a Black woman but she wasn't prepared for w...

    Humor | Humor

    Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue - SNL

    Dave Chappelle talks about the 2020 election, COVID-19 and Donald Trump. Saturday Night Live. Stream now on Peacock: https://bit.ly/3j1IRUk Subscribe to SNL:...

    Humor | Humor

    Trump's Spiritual Advisor Remix

    Angels from Africa are coming!! ???????????? The Kiffness on Spotify: https://bit.ly/Kiffness Follow The Kiffness on socials: https://www.facebook.com/thekiffness htt...

    Humor | Humor

    Donny Osmond - "Fame" (David Bowie Cover)

    3/12/1976. From the Donny & Marie show.

    Humor | Humor

    Final Debate Cold Open - SNL

    Kristen Welker (Maya Rudolph) hosts the last presidential debate of the 2020 election between Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) and Joe Biden (Jim Carrey). Saturda...

    Humor | Humor

    Marine Reacts to Karen - Call Your Manager Now!

    Marine Reacts to Karen. The Ultimate Karen Compilation. Are you Kidding ME. Call your Manager NOW. For More Train Wreck check out this Video - https://youtu....

    Humor | Humor

    Weekend Update: Top Halloween Costumes & Grocery Store Racism - SNL

    Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week’s biggest news, like what the most popular halloween costumes for 2020 are. Saturday Night ...

    Humor | Humor

    Mexican Moms Answer Google Questions

    Mexican moms answer the most searched questions on Google. Why do Mexican moms throw shoes? What do Mexican moms say when mad? 0:00 Intro 0:14 why do Mexican...

    Humor | Humor

    Watch Saturday Night Live Highlight: First Debate Cold Open - NBC.com

    Watch Saturday Night Live highlight 'First Debate Cold Open' on NBC.com

    Humor | Humor

    If We Defund the Police They Won’t Have Money To Pay Wrongful Death Lawsuits To All Those Families

    Cops suck. There’s no question about that. I’m not a dumbass boot licker. However, I don’t know if we should be calling for the police to be defunded. I mean, I get the sentiment but I don’t believe it’s going to fix the problem.

    Humor | Humor

    U.S. Military Considers Dropping Gender Reveal Bombs in Middle East

    The Department of Defense began compiling a report this week aimed at assessing the viability of gender reveal “bombs” as effective weapons.

    Humor | Humor

    Blues Traveler Inducted Into “Band You’re Probably Gonna Hear at Walgreens” Hall of Fame

    Blues Traveler were inducted into the “Band You’re Probably Gonna Hear at Walgreens” Hall of Fame for being the most played at the pharmacy chain.

    Humor | Humor

    MAGA Patriot Stalks Man for Three Miles in Self Defense

    Armed MAGA patriot Kenneth Carter spent several days tracking a man over several miles in what he claims was self defense.

    Humor | Humor

    Police Department Reminded to Not Wear White Hoods After Labor Day

    Milwaukee Chief of Police Roger Brooks held a department-wide meeting today to remind his officers not to wear their white hoods after Labor Day.

    Humor | Humor

    Punk Rock Noise Machine Lets You Fall Asleep to Sound of Parents Arguing

    After months of rigorous beta testing, AggroNap, a new sleep aid machine geared toward people who grew up in broken homes, is set to hit the market.

    Humor | Humor

    Relationship With Communist Girlfriend Totally Works in Theory

    Local man Joseph Whitt described moments ago his relationship with hardcore tankie and politically communist girlfriend Stephanie Arlin as being “totally workable in theory.”

    Humor | Humor

    BREAKING: Biden Vows to Defund Itty Bitty Titty Committee

    Joe Biden intends to defund the “Itty Bitty Titty Committee,” as well as provide tax credits for Americans sporting C-cup “over the shoulder boulder holders” or better.

    Humor | Humor

    RNC Picks Up Coveted TruckNutz Sponsorship

    The fourth night of the Republican National Convention will feature wall-to-wall advertising from their new exclusive sponsor, TruckNutz.

    Humor | Humor

    My Dad Didn’t Die for Our Country Just for a Bunch of Liberals to Ruin It. He Died From Alcoholism

    America is being destroyed by the liberal elite and it makes me absolutely sick. And it would’ve made my dad sick, too. After all, he didn’t die for our country just for it to be ruined by a generation of communist snowflakes. He died because every ni

    Humor | Humor

    City Excited to Use Funds From Defunded Police to Build New Highway Through Black Neighborhood

    Money diverted from the Seattle Police Department to fund a new highway initiative that would be located in the heart of the historically-Black Central District.

    Humor | Humor

    Keith Richards Snorts All 10 Sauces During "Hot Ones" Appearance

    Legendary Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards took the popular interview show “Hot Ones” to a new level by snorting all 10 sauces in rapid succession.

    Humor | Humor

    Conservatives Warn Radical Kamala Harris Will Impose Her Christian Beliefs On American Populace

    WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that this was only the first step of many designed to destroy freedom and turn the nation into an extremist nightmare, conservative pundits warned Wednesday that known radical Kamala Harris would soon impose her Christian beliefs

    Humor | Humor

    Benny Hill - The Strolling Ones (1965)

    Benny is a rock star who sings "Rose" as Mick Jagger. Benny is also the drummer, the guitar player, the rest of the band, a man in the audience and a screami...

    Humor | Humor

    I put some Bee Gees music over North Korean marching

    NOW IT GETS FASTER EVERY CYCLE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qCD_tjjBQ March footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwEkaGYBdHs https://www.youtube.co...

    Humor | Humor

    Klan Member Suddenly Opposed to Wearing Shitty Homemade Masks

    Local Klan member and conservative activist David Mount changed his views on wearing “silly little masks” in public following recent stay-at-home orders.

    Humor | Humor

    What Does America’s Coronavirus Response Look Like Abroad? | NYT Opinion

    The United States leads the world in Covid-19 deaths, nearing 150,000 lost lives. The unemployment figures brought on by the pandemic are mind-boggling. The ...

    Humor | Humor

    KAREN screams at dunkin' donuts, gets face full of iced coffee

    KAREN SAYS "DO NOT CLICK" - https://amzn.to/327NwOp Entitled Karen yells at a Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru employee and instead gets iced coffee thrown at her f...