"The Martini"

James Martin

Articles 2K
Views 3.5M

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How to Survive in the Third World States of America

It’s 2028. Our non-binary Emporer/Empress Kamala Harris has outlawed guns, meat, combustible engines, gas stoves, and testicles. Americans are starving except for those lucky enough to live in t...

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Cubs Fan Ready To Get Completely Drunk Again On Only 2 Days’ Rest - The Onion - America's Finest News Source

The Onion, America's Finest News Source.

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Things No Self-Respecting Adult Should Be Doing on Facebook

Welcome to the Internet in the 21st century: where teenagers pretend to be 30-year-olds, and 30-year-olds act like teenagers.

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Good News! Walmart Fixes Everything by Playing Less Canadian Music | NOISEY

The first step in making sure your employees are happy is to not play any more Celine Dion or Justin Bieber.

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College Encourages Lively Exchange Of Idea

BOSTON—Saying that such a dialogue was essential to the college’s academic mission, Trescott University president Kevin Abrams confirmed Monday that the school encourages a lively exchange of one idea.