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Fred's Internet Island

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Congress Votes On Bill To Legalize Clinton-Assisted Suicide

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The US House of Representatives is scheduled to vote on a healthcare bill that, if passed, will legalize Clinton-assisted suicide in all 50 states. The bill is expected to pass easily in the Democrat majority house after which the bill

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Buffalo Hat-Wearing Elizabeth Warren Leads Insurrection Against Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Eyewitnesses reported Senator Elizabeth Warren donned a buffalo hat and led a group of bloodthirsty insurrectionists up the marble steps of the Supreme Court Building Wednesday morning. According to sources, they are outraged that the m

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Identify Any Way You Want

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

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Eccentric Billionaire Accomplishes More For Free Speech In One Afternoon Than Republicans Have In Decades

WORLD - According to sources, an eccentric immigrant entrepreneur from South Africa just accomplished more for free speech than Republicans have in decades of controlling the government, wielding Federal power, and spending trillions of dollars.'Wow! Who

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Chris Wallace Now Regretting Getting CNN+ Tramp Stamp

U.S. - Chris Wallace’s name started trending along with search terms 'unemployed' and 'learn to code' when CNN+ shut down this week, but Wallace has voiced a more troubling concern than potential joblessness: his recently-acquired CNN+ tattoo on his

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Hard Work Will Be Rewarded

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

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Man Wears Cargo Shorts Causing Hundreds Of Women To Stumble Into Sinful Lust

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA - Local man Dan Boats is being placed under church discipline after several reports of him wearing cargo shorts in public - a practice guaranteed to cause women who see them to stumble into sinful lust.'Many men claim to wear cargo sh

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Psaki Reminds Reporters That Biden Doesn't Speak For The President Of The United States

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a tense press conference Monday, Press Secretary Jen Psaki faced pointed questions about several Biden misstatements that led to chaos during his trip overseas. Psaki quickly reassured the gathered press that Biden doesn't speak for

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Watch Sventoonie on MeTV

MeTV

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Finally: Peter Doocy And Jen Psaki Announce Their Engagement

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After over a year of courtship, Fox News correspondent Peter Doocy and White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki have announced they are finally tying the knot. 'Um, on a personal note, I would like to announce that I will soon be stepping

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The Babylon Bee's Man Of The Year Is Rachel Levine

The Babylon Bee has selected Rachel Levine as its first annual Man of the Year. Levine is the U.S. assistant secretary for health for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, where he serves proudly as the first man in that position to dress like

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Trump Promises That If Reelected He Will Turn Fauci Into A Piñata And Let Every American Take One Whack

MAR-A-LAGO, FL - In a speech this week, Trump hinted strongly that he will run for reelection in 2024. He then ginned up excitement for his potential campaign by promising that if re-elected, he will turn Fauci into a piñata and let every American

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Biden Promises To Replace Retiring Quarterback Tom Brady With A Woman Of Color

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Legendary quarterback Tom Brady has announced his plan to retire from the NFL to spend more time carving little wooden toys for his grandkids. In response to the earth-shattering news, President Joe Biden has announced his commitment to

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New Minnie Mouse Pantsuit Design Includes Baton For Beating Uyghur Prisoners

PARIS - Minnie Mouse will be sporting a new look this March for Women's History Month when she finalizes her divorce from Mickey and becomes an independent businesswoman in a pantsuit. The new outfit comes with a stylish baton for beating Uyghur prisoners

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Biden Puts 8,000 Troops On Alert In Case Peter Doocy Retaliates

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Pentagon officials have confirmed that Biden placed 8,000 troops on high alert to protect the White House in case Fox News reporter Peter Doocy retaliates for Biden insulting him in a press conference yesterday.'Listen, man, I want thos

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Biden Administration Mounts Daring Mission To Evacuate Hunter’s Remaining Cash From Ukraine

UKRAINE - As Russian troops assemble at Ukraine's border ahead of a possible land invasion, President Biden has taken swift action by deploying an elite seal team to evacuate his son Hunter's money.'At my direction, military operatives infiltrated a bank

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    Taking Care Of It

    The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

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    FBI Hosts Annual January 6 Reunion

    We're live on the scene at the Capitol building as the FBI hosts their beloved annual January 6 reunion. Good times!Become a premium subscriber: https://bab...

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    Twelve Days of Christmas performed by Bob and Doug McKenzie

    Bob and Doug McKenzie (Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas) from SCTV perform "The 12 Days of Christmas" from their album 'Great White North.'I do not own anything.

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    BBC Miranda Series 2 Episode 6 The Perfect Christmas Full Episode

    It's Christmas and Miranda, for once, would like a relaxing and fun time without her parents. After Penny's Best Christmas Jumper Party on the 23rd of Decemb...

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    Wally Gets Covid Often

    The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

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    Biden Warns Russia That If They Invade Ukraine, America Will Evacuate Haphazardly And Leave $86 Billion In Weapons Behind

    WASHINGTON, D.C. - As Russia appears poised to invade Ukraine, Biden today issued a forceful statement warning Putin that if he does, America will evacuate haphazardly and leave $86 billion in weapons behind.'Listen, folks...for real this time...no joke..

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    Man Born With Incredible Superpower Of Picking Slowest Grocery Store Lane 100% Of The Time

    AMES, IA - Local man Justin Parkinson isn't like ordinary people. He was born with a superpower. Parkinson, according to sources, has the ability to pick the absolute slowest grocery store lane every single time.'I was just born this way,' he said, shrugg

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      Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton

      WASHINGTON, D.C. - A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt on the Clintons, sources at the FBI confirmed today.The official cause of death was suicide, though the bullet wounds were in the back of the turke

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      Prosecutors Find Mail-In Jury Votes At 3AM, Rittenhouse Now Guilty

      KENOSHA, WI - In a stunning reversal, Kyle Rittenhouse awoke this morning to discover that he had been found guilty after all.Prosecutors explained that during the night, they had found dozens of mail-in jury votes declaring the defendant guilty on all co

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      Oh No! 85,000 Trump Ballots Found Inside Biden's Colon

      BETHESDA, MD - While performing a routine colonoscopy of President Biden, doctors at the Walter Reed Medical Center made a surprising discovery inside the President’s colon: 85,000 Trump ballots. 'At first we were incredulous as to what the monitor

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      Aaron Rodgers Beats Fiancée, Murders A Few Guys On The Street So NFL Will Embrace Him Again

      GREEN BAY, WI - Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers stirred up controversy last week when it was discovered that instead of taking the safe and effective Covid vaccine, like all the other NFL players, he had immunized himself by drinking a pint of

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      Joe Biden Invites Brandon To The White House To Congratulate Him For His Success

      WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Biden has invited national hero 'Brandon' to the White House to congratulate him on his smashing success at football games, NASCAR races, and even gatherings of New York City educators.'Wow, this Brandon must be quite a fella!

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      Aides Quickly Drag President Away As He Tries To Join In ‘F*** Joe Biden’ Chant

      WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Biden took a much-needed break from his 4-hour workdays and late-night Matlock binges to attend the Congressional Baseball Game this past weekend, but things quickly went south when he attempted to join the crowd in a rowdy 'F

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      Greg Gutfeld: Climate change is saving hundreds of thousands of lives

      Fact: more people died from cold weather than hot. A new Lancet study reports that while a half million people die from heat per year, roughly 4.5 million die from the cold.

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      New Technology

      The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.